Yet more things I never thought I’d have to think about
ORGALUTRON sounds like a space age kitchen appliance to me but apparently it’s what I’ll be injecting in my next cycle should I choose to accept it. It’s a short cycle drug. My doctor is suggesting we try a short cycle because, well, basically the other one didn’t work. Apparently some people who don’t get good eggs on long cycles get good eggs on shorter cycles. Between you and me I think my eggs are fried and no drug is going to change that. Again I’m faced with the fundamental problem I have always had with IVF which is that if my eggs are not in great shape, and it seems clear that they’re not, then more drugs is just going to push out more dodgy eggs. Therefore, IVF is never going to work. If the ORGALUTRON was a time travel machine in which I could go back and retrieve some eggs from my twenties when my life purpose was to avoid getting pregnant, then that would be worth it. I mean I only have my cynicism and a dwindling bank account to guide me here, but I’m really wondering if there is any point in another cycle.
Minutes after I posted my last entry my doctor rang to talk about the failure. She was all about “next time” as I mentioned previously. She talks a lot and I’ve learned I just have to butt in if I want my questions answered. I did so, and it was clear that there’s nothing in IVF land that addresses the idea of trying to actually improve egg quality before you go in with more stimulation drugs. But she did mention DHEA. She’s a total scientist and made it very clear that she couldn’t advise me about the efficacy of the reports “coming out of the United States” about IVF successes in women with depleted egg reserves who were given high doses of DHEA prior to their cycles… But she did suggest I google it. Which I did. It’s interesting and I’ll post more on it as I find out more. I’m still swinging back and forth between “okay forget about it” and “give it another try”. In the meantime I might take on a research project about vitamin supplements.
By the way I’m still really pissed off. My cousin is about to give birth. Every woman in my family has bred like a rabbit. Why did I have to get the fucking failing ovaries?
